Please, tax my beer! It is such a drag, especially on a hot summer’s eve, to be subjected to the cold, crisp bitterness of an American lager upon my lips. How sagacious it is to stop such a sickening seasonal self-indulgence. Sipping suds should be stopped, similarly to smoking. The sin tax for cigarettes is surely a success. Who among us has really taken notice of tobacco burning lately?
Candy is criminal, too. An impost should be imminent. Cola and coffee must also be quashed by compulsory contribution to Congress.
Almonds also–candied and a component of Joy–must have a duty imposed immediately.
Coriander, cumin, and catsup… Oh, the humanity! Tax it all. Unnecessary extravagances must be eliminated.
We should value Volsteadism. It worked so well for us in the past. With the President predicting the throes of the Thirties once again, why not join in on the nostalgia here in Oregon.
~~~If you think my trite alliteration is annoying now, just wait until they start taxing everything under the sun for no particularly good reason and I begin to practice the alliterative arts a little bit more.~~~
